New Journey Fellowship
|Posted on April 1, 2015 at 7:35 AM|
Last week in our conversation about money we talked about the danger of Narcissism (the love of ones self). As we said, we all tend to be self centered, thinking "It’s all about me." When it comes to money, this attitude can be very dangerous; in fact, it can be down right devastating.
Couples try to deal with this in several different ways, but probably the most common is that they decide that each will have their own bank account and that each will pay certain bills out of their own account. Quite often this works: well, at least to some degree. If they are both working and the "responsible" one of the two makes the lions share of the money and pays the lions share of the bills then every thing might work out all right. This approach allows the other to pay a couple of the smaller bills and then they are free to spend the rest of "their" money on them self and anything else that they want to. This approach allows one person in the marriage to be the adult while the other gets to be a child. If the "adult" in this relationship is willing and able to plan and save for the retirement years then every thing might work out just fine, but there are many pitfalls and dangers with this plan. In most cases, it doesn't work out that well. The narcissist can still run up debts and even fail to pay the bills that they agreed to pay. They, of course, will always have a “good reason", but this behavior is downright destructive to a marriage. They may resort to hiding bills and any level of deception in order to keep their spouse from knowing what is going on.
The truth will eventually come out, but far too often it is not until the couple faces financial ruin. The truth is this is a sin problem and needs to be dealt with. In truth, it will most likely take many, many hours of counseling, much pray and a whole lot of patience, but there is hope. God is able to heal and restore, but the problem is best dealt with early, before too much damage has been done. If a couple is dealing with this problem, then the need to seek immediate help from a good biblical counselor. (I would recommend one who was certified by the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors.) - Pastor Tim